waiting for the waiting list

Yep thats right, we are waiting to wait. waiting for the chance to be officially waiting. adoption is teaching me a lot about having patience and about Gods timing. it is not always easy to wait and its really HARD to not be able to control umm...any part of this at all...but the great thing is that Gods timing has been so perfect and so beautiful in every single part of this.

I was thinking last night about the web name for our blog...Ready for His will.   A couple months back when i was starting my blog, I was trying to think of the perfect name for it. we thought that our first child was going to be born in Ethiopia...Karl and I considered several cutesy blog names such as "grown in our hearts, born in Ethiopia" or other things kind of like that. well none of them seemed to be right and we just kept going back to Gods will. we decided on Ready for His will and last night I realized that it was Gods will that kept us from choosing one of those names, God already knew that our first born child would be born in the United States. I thought it was pretty neat :) God is good!

today was a really great day, we went to my mom and dads and my sister and brother in law were there too with their kiddos. the little ones dyed easter eggs and my brother in law cooked a delicious meal. it was a great evening and lots of fun but for some reason i just couldnt shake a sad feeling that was lingering inside of me. i think part of it is because im so ready to see my childs hands covered in dye from the easter egg fun, im ready to see my sweet baby smiling and laughing with their cousins, im ready to be leaning over the bathtub at my moms bathing my little one. my heart yearns for my child. i love him or her already and i pray for them all time.

another reason i was stuck in a funk is because i am already greiving for my childs birthmother, though i dont even know who she is. i just cant imagine the roles being reversed and me having to make that kind of decision for my child. i think of her growing belly and how hard it must be to feel the life that she created moving and growing inside of her, knowing that she wont be the one to raise them. Karl and I are blessed with tons of support as we plan to adopt our first child, love and support from our parents, siblings, friends, and coworkers...EVERY night i pray that our birthmother has the same support from her family when facing this tremendous, hard decision. my heart breaks for her.

On a happier note...things are still moving right along! :)
   we were assigned our official caseworker with our agency in Michigan and she seems awesome! For the sake of the blog I will call her B! it is looking like we will be an official waiting family within 2 or 3 weeks!!!!! i can hardly believe that i just typed that. remember back to when we were thinking we would be adopting from ethiopia...july 7 was our START date. God is so good. im blown away.

I am expecting 2 very exciting things in the mail. 1) the sweetest package from Amanda (my sister) she got us our baby bag and loaded it with all of the essentials so that when we get "the call" it will all be ready to go!!! and 2) our client package from our agency...a binder full of info that I can not wait to get my hands on!!!!

this was quite a scattered post...if you made it this far thank you for sticking it out!

my april goal is to be a better blogger (no! HONESTLY, i mean it this time)
if you are reading, hold me accountable please!!!!