and im sure some of you have been wondering what is going on with us and with our baby boy. well...im not 100% sure whats going on, and that hurts...so it is hard to talk about. and that is the reason i have not been blogging lately.
im about 95 percent sure that things are still moving forward towards us adopting our baby boy...but there is a 5 percent chance that maybe we are not...MAYBE--its complicated and very personal and at this point i am not comfortable sharing too many details online.
monday we should know alot more but honestly it has literally changed from day to day...
baby boy is growing and learning a nice routine for his AMAZING host family. he has gone from being a sad baby who did not quite know how to trust--to being a curious, smiling, chubby...trusting, happy baby boy.
i will update more when i know more. we are hoping to be traveling within the next week or at the most 2 weeks.
if you would like to pray for our situation, please pray that Gods will is done and that whatever is best for this baby boy is what happens.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Conference call in 1 hour
Feeling a little anxious & nervous! Praying for good news...I will update later after the call!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Update on our son and a sneak peak!!!
Thank you so much for all of the congratulations!! We are so in love!
so whats been going on you might ask?
its been a whirlwind but we are trying to soak in every second.
so the call came on monday night. it was amazing. i love Gods timing because i was absolutely positively not at all (not even a tiny bit) expecting to get the call. it was crazy wonderful!! we were watching the bachelorette (yes Karl was too) and when my phone started ringing Karl picked it up and looked at then just handed it to me...so im thinking its probably my mom....MAAAYYBE my sister but when i looked down and saw the 517 area code, I KNEW it was michigan calling!! i could hardly breathe and my heart was racing (kind of like when the jail called me!) (from the previous post) but this time i knew it was real!! so i start saying, oh my gosh oh my gosh its michigan, this is happening, its happening!!!! so karl is like, "answer it baby" but i couldnt, i was too nervous and still could hardly breathe. so karl tried but it was too late. so we waited for a minute to see if a voicemail would pop and then karl called back and put it on speaker.
our caseworker N, asked if she could tell us about a baby boy!?! we sat there holding each other and crying our eyes out! it wasnt until almost the end of the conversation when i realized that maybe i should be taking notes, cause i was probably way to excited and emotional to remember everything!
she told us that when his birthmother saw our profile she said that the only way she could make a plan for him was if WE were going to be his parents! we cried even more.
God had heard our prayers. Our prayers for her and our prayers for our future child!! All of the details just made it so very obvious that Gods hands are ALL over this!
Right at the same month that our babys birthmother had a bad experience with one agency and was finding her way to our agency...WE found out that there was a need for families to adopt african american infants in the U.S. and so we switched from Ethiopia to domestic and switched agencies as well. Oh how God is good!!
So anyway, fastforward to thursday! we got to have a phone call with our babys amazing first mother. i wont share much of that because its a pretty personal thing...but i will say that it was humbling and so special and something that we will never forget!! we even got to hear our baby cry! it was the sweetest sound!
that same day our baby boy went into host care. host care with our agency consists of a family that cares for the babies before the parental rights are terminated. our baby is lucky to have an amazing christian couple who has been doing this for 17 years with our agency!!! and i was able to talk with his host mother P several times in the last 2 days.
she emailed us pictures of him last night and he is GORGEOUS!!! we are even more in love!! we have been praying for him for the last 2 years...our first child!! and although we did not know who he was, God did!!!
he had a dr appt today and he is 21 inches (he was measured wrong the first time) and he is actually 8 pounds 7 oz!!!! i can not wait to get my arms wrapped around him and just snuggle him closely, and breathe in his sweet smell...and kiss on his cheeks! ohh, he is a handsome little boy :)
so whats next!? monday we have a conference call with our caseworker to go over all of the details of the rest of the process and then hopefully a court date will be scheduled promptly and hopefully we will be traveling this coming week to meet our baby boy and bringing him home soon! i will update monday after we know more...
while we are very aware that this adoption is not finalized, that his mother has not yet even terminated her rights before the courts...we feel like this is our son. and we are trusting that it is God who got us this far and it will be God who gets us thru the heartache if we lost him. but we will not let that fear keep us from falling head over heals in love with our son!!!
continue praying for us!!
so whats been going on you might ask?
its been a whirlwind but we are trying to soak in every second.
so the call came on monday night. it was amazing. i love Gods timing because i was absolutely positively not at all (not even a tiny bit) expecting to get the call. it was crazy wonderful!! we were watching the bachelorette (yes Karl was too) and when my phone started ringing Karl picked it up and looked at then just handed it to me...so im thinking its probably my mom....MAAAYYBE my sister but when i looked down and saw the 517 area code, I KNEW it was michigan calling!! i could hardly breathe and my heart was racing (kind of like when the jail called me!) (from the previous post) but this time i knew it was real!! so i start saying, oh my gosh oh my gosh its michigan, this is happening, its happening!!!! so karl is like, "answer it baby" but i couldnt, i was too nervous and still could hardly breathe. so karl tried but it was too late. so we waited for a minute to see if a voicemail would pop and then karl called back and put it on speaker.
our caseworker N, asked if she could tell us about a baby boy!?! we sat there holding each other and crying our eyes out! it wasnt until almost the end of the conversation when i realized that maybe i should be taking notes, cause i was probably way to excited and emotional to remember everything!
she told us that when his birthmother saw our profile she said that the only way she could make a plan for him was if WE were going to be his parents! we cried even more.
God had heard our prayers. Our prayers for her and our prayers for our future child!! All of the details just made it so very obvious that Gods hands are ALL over this!
Right at the same month that our babys birthmother had a bad experience with one agency and was finding her way to our agency...WE found out that there was a need for families to adopt african american infants in the U.S. and so we switched from Ethiopia to domestic and switched agencies as well. Oh how God is good!!
So anyway, fastforward to thursday! we got to have a phone call with our babys amazing first mother. i wont share much of that because its a pretty personal thing...but i will say that it was humbling and so special and something that we will never forget!! we even got to hear our baby cry! it was the sweetest sound!
that same day our baby boy went into host care. host care with our agency consists of a family that cares for the babies before the parental rights are terminated. our baby is lucky to have an amazing christian couple who has been doing this for 17 years with our agency!!! and i was able to talk with his host mother P several times in the last 2 days.
she emailed us pictures of him last night and he is GORGEOUS!!! we are even more in love!! we have been praying for him for the last 2 years...our first child!! and although we did not know who he was, God did!!!
he had a dr appt today and he is 21 inches (he was measured wrong the first time) and he is actually 8 pounds 7 oz!!!! i can not wait to get my arms wrapped around him and just snuggle him closely, and breathe in his sweet smell...and kiss on his cheeks! ohh, he is a handsome little boy :)
while we are very aware that this adoption is not finalized, that his mother has not yet even terminated her rights before the courts...we feel like this is our son. and we are trusting that it is God who got us this far and it will be God who gets us thru the heartache if we lost him. but we will not let that fear keep us from falling head over heals in love with our son!!!
continue praying for us!!
Monday, July 19, 2010
WE GOT THE CALL!!!!!
i will post more later but i had to share!!!! at 7:30 tonight we got the call that will forever change our life!! we have a son!!!! he is 5 weeks old!!!!
i will give more details later!
please continue to pray for us, our baby and our babys amazing first mother!!!
Praise God...all glory to Him!!!!!
we are still in shock!
i will give more details later!
please continue to pray for us, our baby and our babys amazing first mother!!!
Praise God...all glory to Him!!!!!
we are still in shock!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
woke up to a phone call & blessings in the wait
first let me get to the phone call...just so no one gets excited for nothing. well just before my alarm was set to go off this morning, i hear a different sound coming from my phone. IT WAS RINGING!!! i look at the number and i do not recognize it, my heart starts racing. like big time RACING. well my sleepy brain was not quite at 100% yet and i did not realize that 866 is a toll free number...booo. i just knew it was "the call". i did not want to answer it with a groggy, just waking up voice (im crazy right!?) so i let it go to voicemail and immediately opened the internet explorer on my phone (thank you iphone) and typed in 866 area code, and then good old faithful google let me know that 866 was indeed a toll free number. the excitement seemed to fade a little BUT i still thought it might be the call. then i listened to the voicemail...it was a collect call from a correctional facility. HA!
God had a sense of humor on that early sunday morning!! but let me just say that even though it bummed me out, it was so much fun to think that i was getting the call! it was so much fun to get that rush of emotions that i have never EVER experienced before. i felt extreme excitement, nervousness, a little fear...and MORE EXCITEMENT! i cant imagine what i will feel when i really get the call, and what i will feel as i am listening to a caseworker tell me all about my baby! ooohh...goosebumps!
So i have been wanting to talk about something a little different. i never expected to be able to talk about blessings of waiting. i mean, really- that almost seems like an oxymoron. how could waiting for the thing you have wanted for 20 years and have jumped through so many hoops for....how could there be blessings in waiting for that? the biggest blessing has been the way God used this time of waiting and is continuing to use it to draw me closer to Him. I love that even when things are so hard, when i feel so full of sadness and feel like this is never going to happen...instead of blaming God or turning away from Him, I am able to draw closer to Him!! He gives me peace when i need it most and reminds me of His promises. Reminds me that He is in control of this process, he knows when our baby will born, He knows what our baby will look like, smell like...He knows every single detail of our adoption. that is such a comfort to me! what more could i ask for then to know that my Lord, the one who knit me in my mothers womb, the one who sewed adoption deep into my heart as a young child...is currently knitting our baby together in his or her mothers womb...and preparing the birthmothers heart for the decision she will make...and putting together every detail until the day we all meet!?
*my dad keeps saying that he feels the 21st will be a very significant day for us! we will see!
God had a sense of humor on that early sunday morning!! but let me just say that even though it bummed me out, it was so much fun to think that i was getting the call! it was so much fun to get that rush of emotions that i have never EVER experienced before. i felt extreme excitement, nervousness, a little fear...and MORE EXCITEMENT! i cant imagine what i will feel when i really get the call, and what i will feel as i am listening to a caseworker tell me all about my baby! ooohh...goosebumps!
So i have been wanting to talk about something a little different. i never expected to be able to talk about blessings of waiting. i mean, really- that almost seems like an oxymoron. how could waiting for the thing you have wanted for 20 years and have jumped through so many hoops for....how could there be blessings in waiting for that? the biggest blessing has been the way God used this time of waiting and is continuing to use it to draw me closer to Him. I love that even when things are so hard, when i feel so full of sadness and feel like this is never going to happen...instead of blaming God or turning away from Him, I am able to draw closer to Him!! He gives me peace when i need it most and reminds me of His promises. Reminds me that He is in control of this process, he knows when our baby will born, He knows what our baby will look like, smell like...He knows every single detail of our adoption. that is such a comfort to me! what more could i ask for then to know that my Lord, the one who knit me in my mothers womb, the one who sewed adoption deep into my heart as a young child...is currently knitting our baby together in his or her mothers womb...and preparing the birthmothers heart for the decision she will make...and putting together every detail until the day we all meet!?
*my dad keeps saying that he feels the 21st will be a very significant day for us! we will see!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
moby love & a little news
hello all...
i have been finding it hard to find things to blog about lately. it is hard to post on an adoption blog when nothing is going on in your adoption process. im not really in a funk over it...just cant think of anything interesting to talk about!
so i decided i am going to write about one of my favorite baby gifts that i have recieved so far! my MOBY wrap! my mom got it for me and i absolutely love it!!! karl is not too convinced that it is something a daddy can use too but he is warming up to it! i feel very strongly about "wearing" my baby because of all of the positives i have heard from other adoptive mommas...and biological mommas too! our sweet baby will not have spent 9 months baking in my oven, hearing our voices, listening to the lullaby of my heartbeat or just feeling snuggled up to me...so for me it is very important to have as much snuggle time once baby is placed with us. it will be perfect for attatchment and bonding, baby can be right on my chest...
hearing my voice & heartbeat...smelling momma and daddys scent, feeling us move and breathe. i can not wait to hold my little pumpkin close in my moby wrap!
i tried it out with my 1 year old niece...just for fun and i couldnt tell who loved it more, me or her!? it was adorable, she really enjoyed being snug against my chest and belly with her little legs hanging out. i even wrapped karl up in the moby and avery took a turn snuggling with uncle karl.
i took lots of great pictures of both of us with the moby but i can not find the adapter to get the pictures from my camera to my computer...so those will come on another day!
now onto the news...its tiny so dont get too excited!
last night while karl and I were falling asleep i asked him what does he think God is trying to teach us through this hard wait? we talked for a while about it...maybe he is trying to teach us to FULLY trust His timing His plan. maybe He is trying to teach us to truly turn to Him and to not try and lean on our own understanding of this. maybe he wants us to seek comfort in Him in a way we never have before. maybe He just thinks we need a refresher course on patience!? :)
well i woke up this morning feeling Gods presence so strongly. it was amazing. something i dont really feel (this strongly) hardly ever. i was loving it and soaking it in!! well i honestly just knew that if i checked my email that i would have an email from our caseworker...i could just feel it. its 7am people and i had checked it right before bed around 10pm...so it was kind of a stretch. but sure enough there it was in my inbox!! she had a crazy day yesterday that included hours of trying to get rid of a virus on her computer and she ended up emailing me at 12:45am!!!! i was touched that after the day she had she still shot us an email before going to sleep.
anyway...her 1st email was a response to one from me. i had been curious if we should put ourselves on Adoption Associates website since we are almost at 2 months of waiting with no match. and her response is the same as before...she said she is still confident that we do NOT need the extra exposure of being on the website...and she encouraged us to hang tight...even though she knows it is easier to say than do.
i took comfort in that and trust her judgement. well then she emailed again to say that our profile had been shown 2 more times. once on july 1st and once on last thursday july 8th!!!! am i excited!? oh yes! am i praying like a mad woman!? oh yes!
but i am also staying slightly guarded and realistic because since nothing came of our last 2 profile showings i know that there is a HUGE possibility that nothing will come of these either. so i am taking it one day at a time!
i did come to a pretty simple but very exciting realization tonight. that eventually or rather, ultimately something WILL come from our profile being shown. i mean, at some point when our profile is shown God will stir the heart of a precious pregnant woman and she will feel peace about choosing us to raise her baby. at some point our profile being presented will result in us welcoming a baby, our first child, into our lives forever!
thats an exciting thought that gives me goosebumps!
if hear anything else...i will let you all know!
please continue praying with us!
i have been finding it hard to find things to blog about lately. it is hard to post on an adoption blog when nothing is going on in your adoption process. im not really in a funk over it...just cant think of anything interesting to talk about!
so i decided i am going to write about one of my favorite baby gifts that i have recieved so far! my MOBY wrap! my mom got it for me and i absolutely love it!!! karl is not too convinced that it is something a daddy can use too but he is warming up to it! i feel very strongly about "wearing" my baby because of all of the positives i have heard from other adoptive mommas...and biological mommas too! our sweet baby will not have spent 9 months baking in my oven, hearing our voices, listening to the lullaby of my heartbeat or just feeling snuggled up to me...so for me it is very important to have as much snuggle time once baby is placed with us. it will be perfect for attatchment and bonding, baby can be right on my chest...
hearing my voice & heartbeat...smelling momma and daddys scent, feeling us move and breathe. i can not wait to hold my little pumpkin close in my moby wrap!
i tried it out with my 1 year old niece...just for fun and i couldnt tell who loved it more, me or her!? it was adorable, she really enjoyed being snug against my chest and belly with her little legs hanging out. i even wrapped karl up in the moby and avery took a turn snuggling with uncle karl.
i took lots of great pictures of both of us with the moby but i can not find the adapter to get the pictures from my camera to my computer...so those will come on another day!
now onto the news...its tiny so dont get too excited!
last night while karl and I were falling asleep i asked him what does he think God is trying to teach us through this hard wait? we talked for a while about it...maybe he is trying to teach us to FULLY trust His timing His plan. maybe He is trying to teach us to truly turn to Him and to not try and lean on our own understanding of this. maybe he wants us to seek comfort in Him in a way we never have before. maybe He just thinks we need a refresher course on patience!? :)
well i woke up this morning feeling Gods presence so strongly. it was amazing. something i dont really feel (this strongly) hardly ever. i was loving it and soaking it in!! well i honestly just knew that if i checked my email that i would have an email from our caseworker...i could just feel it. its 7am people and i had checked it right before bed around 10pm...so it was kind of a stretch. but sure enough there it was in my inbox!! she had a crazy day yesterday that included hours of trying to get rid of a virus on her computer and she ended up emailing me at 12:45am!!!! i was touched that after the day she had she still shot us an email before going to sleep.
anyway...her 1st email was a response to one from me. i had been curious if we should put ourselves on Adoption Associates website since we are almost at 2 months of waiting with no match. and her response is the same as before...she said she is still confident that we do NOT need the extra exposure of being on the website...and she encouraged us to hang tight...even though she knows it is easier to say than do.
i took comfort in that and trust her judgement. well then she emailed again to say that our profile had been shown 2 more times. once on july 1st and once on last thursday july 8th!!!! am i excited!? oh yes! am i praying like a mad woman!? oh yes!
but i am also staying slightly guarded and realistic because since nothing came of our last 2 profile showings i know that there is a HUGE possibility that nothing will come of these either. so i am taking it one day at a time!
i did come to a pretty simple but very exciting realization tonight. that eventually or rather, ultimately something WILL come from our profile being shown. i mean, at some point when our profile is shown God will stir the heart of a precious pregnant woman and she will feel peace about choosing us to raise her baby. at some point our profile being presented will result in us welcoming a baby, our first child, into our lives forever!
thats an exciting thought that gives me goosebumps!
if hear anything else...i will let you all know!
please continue praying with us!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
July is a slow month...
so our caseworker is out of the office this week and wont be back until monday...so yesterday i spoke with her supervisor for a few minutes. i guess i just needed a shoulder, some type of encouragement from someone involved in this process. and although she could not give me an update on our profile or us specifically, she was VERY sweet and very encouraging. she shared a bit of her personal story of adoption with me and how and why she became an adoption caseworker which i thought was so kind of her to share. she also encouraged me to keep praying for our babys birthmother and to continue seeking God through the ups and downs of this process and to keep remembering what the outcome of this process will be. IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT!
so to the title of the post...she also said that in her 15+ years of working with birthmothers she always notices a pattern as the months go on each year. she said january is usually a big month for birthmothers and then the fall is very busy but she said July is usually a slow month. not many new expectant mothers...i have no idea how this stuff works but i trust what she says.
next week we should get an update on our profile from B, once she returns. of course im praying for hopeful news but we are still trusting Gods timing and believe that His hands are all over this. so please continue to pray with us as we wait. it feels like the 2 month waiting mark is fast approaching. to be quite honest we really thought we would already have our baby home by now. but our baby is obviously not ready for us yet.
on a different note, yesterday was Karls birthday!! i felt so incredibly blessed to get to share this day with him as his wife! I love my husband so much and he is such a gift to my life! i can not wait to share in the journey of parenthood with him and to see him as the father of our little ones...it brings tears to my eyes just to think about. he will be such an amazing daddy!! Happy Birthday Baby!!
so to the title of the post...she also said that in her 15+ years of working with birthmothers she always notices a pattern as the months go on each year. she said january is usually a big month for birthmothers and then the fall is very busy but she said July is usually a slow month. not many new expectant mothers...i have no idea how this stuff works but i trust what she says.
next week we should get an update on our profile from B, once she returns. of course im praying for hopeful news but we are still trusting Gods timing and believe that His hands are all over this. so please continue to pray with us as we wait. it feels like the 2 month waiting mark is fast approaching. to be quite honest we really thought we would already have our baby home by now. but our baby is obviously not ready for us yet.
on a different note, yesterday was Karls birthday!! i felt so incredibly blessed to get to share this day with him as his wife! I love my husband so much and he is such a gift to my life! i can not wait to share in the journey of parenthood with him and to see him as the father of our little ones...it brings tears to my eyes just to think about. he will be such an amazing daddy!! Happy Birthday Baby!!
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