In your ocean Im ankle deep
I feel the waves crashing on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
I can't figure out
No, I can't figure out
Just how much air I will need to breathe When your tide rushes over me There's only one way to figure out Will you let me drown Will you let me drown
Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire
Cause I just want
Something beautiful to touch me
I know that I'm in reach
I am down on my knees
And waiting for
Something beautiful
And the water is rising quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side
No I can't leave your side
This is a new song by NeedToBreathe and I think its amazing...for those of you who haven't heard it, hop on to klove .com and check it out. Anyways, i bring this song up today because this is my hearts desire...I want this to be the cry of my heart. Consume me like a fire...i want to be able to say without question that I DONT know when my these rough waters will subside but nonetheless trust that God is with me, and that I wont leave His side, cause I know he isnt leaving mine :)
I know that our adoption will involve lots of waiting periods and I expect each to be unique in the emotions that come along with it...but this part of the wait is very hard for me. Waiting until July before we can even submit our application (because of age) its so tough on me lately. I keep thinking of it the wrong way, i think of things like...by the time we are signed with our AGCI, and by the time we make it to the waitlist for our precious babe HOW LONG WILL THE WAITS BE THEN??? this thought worries my heart, God knows that I am so ready to be a mother, to love and care for a child, to guide them and teach them and be everything I can be for them...its hard for me to remember lately that God also knows who my first child is. He knows what they look like, what their name is...what they smell like, he knows how beautiful their smile will be...I really need to work on remembering that, because when I do I find comfort in it and it helps me to remember that he has the plans and the perfect timing.
I wish i was patient.
So I feel like I am at a unique advantage in this adoption world, because since this is our first child and since we have 5 more months of waiting before we even submit the application I feel totally capable of finding a part time 2nd job to help cover the costs of this adoption. The thought of it actually excites me quite a bit, sure I LOVE having weekends off, but who cares about that if it will help to bring our sweet one home a little faster. This whole 2nd job thing has proved to not be so easy though, i thought a night & weekend job would be a piece of cake to get. Not so much. About 5 applications in and no call backs...but Im not losing hope. Pray for us!
Praying for you on your journey! E-mail me wrightfamilyusa@yahoo.com and we can chat about our adoptions.....where are you from?
ReplyDelete5 months before you can apply?! That must be torture! The amazing thing is, and you'll hear it tons: Its all in God's perfect timing. It took us 6 months to get on the list, yet some people have gotten referrals after only 6 months and some poeple on are the list after only 2 months. It really doesnt matter how fast you work, its all God timing. He will slow it down or speed you through at the exact moment when its time. I hope yours flies in 5 months! nikiwarren7@hotmail.com
ReplyDeletehey we are with agci as well! I didnt realize there was an age requirement...that is rough, hang in there bec u are so right, God already know the exact day you need to get on the waitlist to get him/her!!
ReplyDeleteHi Christina --
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sweet comment on my blog! We also know all about waiting. It was nearly two years from the time we contracted with AGCI until we actually met our son. If things had gone quickly, we'd have someone else's baby! Our son is a perfect fit for us, and like you said, God knows exactly who your baby is! Take this time to do lots of fun things with your husband. I'm sure you hear this alot, but everything about your marriage will change once that baby is home. Spend lots of sweet time together as a couple. It's a worthy investment -- and also fun!
You might be able to start your homestudy in your waiting time...find out WHO agci is contracted with in your area and get a head start on it...We did that before we ever sent in our application and got it approved...by the time we were approved..we were done with our homestudy and one step ahead...BUT you have to use someone they approve of, so call agci and ask them WHO you can use and get going :) kj
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